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Depression is trending today across all social platforms in Nigeria’s web space. Everybody imploring and encouraging one another to open up when they have or are having suicidal or depressing thoughts. Advices have been flying all morning. The Irony in that; is the fact that several times across this same platforms we’ve had young men, cry out but gotten completely ignored at best or mocked at worst.
And then they take their lives, and the internet is once more electrified with eulogies and aimless dirges and rhetorics and the whole cycle is repeated again on how suicide isn’t an option and how it is for cowards.
The hypocrisy of this generation make me sick to my stomach. Driven by the need for approval and to feed one’s ego from external validations; everybody jumps on any trend just to get the fleeting sensation of actually appearing to be saying or doing something while being stupid in reality.
Depression is real and takes various forms and nuances; my advice to anyone out there:
1. Don’t come on social media to talk to friends, or share your fears and your pains. Don’t do it! The best you get is awns and emojis hugs; and then you are another topic to trend and at the end of the day, the experience is going to push you further to the edge and nobody might be there to hold your hands.
2. Don’t go to the church for help. No matter whatever anybody says, Nigerian churches are the wrongest places to go to for help on matters like. That is quick road to the end. Don’t do it!
3. Run; it helps! Yes, literarily run. When those moments come and you can’t help it, as much as you can, try to pull yourself up and run; it helps. I can’t explain the medical science behind this; but trust me, it works; I guess it has to do with the sudden rush of oxygen to your brains and the adrenalin pumping above the normal rate.
4. If you are someone who loves mathematics or puzzles, engage your mind with mathematical problems, essays or anything challenging; that helps greatly.
5. If you can afford it; go to a doctor. Services like this should be free and readily available if we are actually in a practical, humane world, but sadly we aren’t and in any case, most psychologist/psychiatrists in Nigerian hospitals are actually messengers of death than anything else; but if you can afford a really good do so, no matter the cost; your mental condition is worth it.
6. Run and stay away from triggers. If you are smart and observing; you would have noticed that suicidal inclinations and depressions generally occur under certain conditions or a system of certain conditions and environment. It could be family members (sadly, it happens), your job, whatever it is maybe even your spouse avoid them or it as much as is humanly and reasonably possible especially those moments you feel the walls closing in.
7. Have very low expectation from people. Whether of romantic love, or of friendship; do not have high expectations from people around you. Realize that they are humans; enjoy their company as much as you can whenever the opportunity presents itself, but endeavor to leave it that, disappointments are the leading triggers to suicides amongst patients according to a research I read. And this logical. So; have little or no expectation from people so you have fewer or no disappointments.
8. Write. This is the most powerful tool in dealing with depression and suicidal inclinations. The act of organizing and writing down your thoughts is unimaginably therapeutic. It doesn’t have to be anything serious, or ceremonies, just get into the habits of thinking your thoughts through to a conclusive ends and framing them in your best words on paper, before you know it, just like a snap of the figure; you are out of the mood.
9. Fresh air is good.
10. I will have to repeat again, never take people serious; just enjoy them. Laugh at good jokes, empathize when it is needed, be wary of committing yourself to relationships [if you are not in one] if you are clinically diagnosed with any form of disorder be it Bipolar or even Dysthymia. DO NOT COMMITE YOURSELF. Be practical in this fight, we don’t live in an ideal world; everybody is dealing with some shits and these shits can pop up at the least expected time.
11. Whatever you do; however you can; have fun. Life is only one and death is just the beginning of life and not the end of it.
Olutoki Feyishayo Funmi
08038226106
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