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Marriage is one big factor of human life, and it is a peculiar aspect of nation-building because it gives room for the opportunity to live in harmony with other genders. At the same time, it helps sustain the value of the community of a people or a nation. It equally helps in creating a sustainable value chain with a proper succession plan if it is maximized.
It is unfortunate that in our environment, marriage has been abused or abusive to people who are involved in it or who are interested in going down the path of marriage. This is a reason that has emerged as a result of failed cultural and religious practices. Marriage, on the other hand, is expected to be a litmus test for everyone involved in it.
It amazes me to see how tough it is for young people to get married in recent times. Marital requirements have been so tight or overly high as to make it difficult for young people to see it as an option to the menace that comes from living a single life. Even when they are old enough to get it done, they are scared of the implications it has around it. It is important to note that religious and cultural practices of the modern age have also altered the immense benefit of my marriage through excessive demands and unrealistic requests from both the family and the lady who is about to get married.
It will also baffle anybody sensible about how we have grown into a sin society and how the trend from adequate family values to a society of solitude, single motherhood, and feminism has trended so much better in our environment than the benefits of marriage. This is not farfetched. This is a result of a change in religious and cultural teachings and practices. We can’t overrule the fact that economic value is of the essence when it comes to setting out for marriage, yet it is also important to acknowledge the fact that marriage must be seen as a simple algorithm, not a compound or differential arithmetic.
Marriage is a school of thought, and it requires disciplined students who are willing to learn from it, whether as a man or a woman. It is also very essential to understand that it is a school where graduation is never done. It is not just matriculation, which is a stereotyped process, but it is a place where research work is continuous and everything must be evaluated at every stage of the marriage.
We must also acknowledge the fact that marriages are not planned for economic reasons, among others. The practice must be found around the spiritual values, which is what I called the king factor, and next to it is what you can call the mental factor, and after that, we do talk about the financial factor and the great emotional factor.
In marriage, you must realise that the coming together of a man and a woman is more spiritual than physical. It’s more than saying “I love you.” It is very important to see that these two genders are bound together in the spiritual rain before their physical activity. Don’t forget, whatever happens in the physical has been concluded in the spiritual, so whatever happens tomorrow has been sent overnight, and we must always learn that in our life.
The mental factor is also next to the spiritual factor because not everybody can withstand the tenacity or energy of influence from the next person. Not everybody can withstand justifying their reasoning with other people’s reasoning. So here we need to evaluate the mental capacity of people who are interested in coming together as husband and wife. We must realise that temperaments place a very key role when you are bringing together an introverted and an extrovert person. You know what results you gets when two introverts get married. You know what results you get when two extroverts get married.
Next to it is the emotional value of marriage and how it affects our marital life. A man and a woman have had from time immemorial what we call “body chemistry.” How they react to things, how they feel about things, and beyond their feelings, how they benefit from the values of their feelings. It is important to realise that their emotional wellness is next to be examined after their mental life. Without proper emotional balance and intelligence, it will be difficult for two genders who were raised differently to live together.
The financial value comes next, If the first three are examined and certified, their financial life can be worked around and they can achieve financial success together. If they are mentally, physically, and spiritually balance together, they will be able to develop their financial status within there means and become better people for the world to see.
No community is better until the smallest unit of the community is better, which is the family unit, and there would not be a proper family unit of life or family scope of life, if the marital selection of a husband and wife had not been properly looked into, and how the long-term impact would affect the community. On this note, we should all learn that we must help younger generations in figuring out how they choose their spouse and how they raise their family because a time will come soon, and the community of the future will be a result of our today’s efforts, and if we are scared enough to face a rotten future, then we must be courageous enough to be in the process of futurisic family formation.
To be continued……
Olajide B.O.Y.
Founder, Ayekooto Fact Finders
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